poems for people who hate poems

I modernized four poems from four poets who wrote these poems so long ago that they can't get mad at me for butchering them.

A man said to the universe: “Sir I exist!” “However,” replied the universe, “The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.” -Stephen Crane circa 1870	A woman said to the universe: “Hello!? I exist!!!!!” “...” “😡” *still waiting for the universe to text back* -Stephen Crane circa 2016
Idly she yawned, and threw her heavy hair Across her flesh-filled shoulders, called the maid, And slipped her sweet blonde body out of bed, Searching her slippers in the wintry air. -George Moore circa 1881	Hastily she hit “Snooze,” and stuck a toothbrush Inside her mouth, yelled for her child to get up, And squeezed her love handles into a pantsuit, Searching her keys in piles of laundry. -George Moore circa 2016
On a sheer peak of joy we meet; Below us hums the abyss; Death either way allures our feet If we take on step amiss. -Edith Wharton circa 1892	Honestly I’ve been having so much fun with you; But we both know where this is inevitably going; I just feel like there’s no point Since we’re all gonna die anyway, ya know? -Edith Wharton circa 2016
Wine comes in at the mouth And love comes in at the eye; That’s all we shall know for truth Before we grow old and die. I lift the glass to my mouth, I look at you, and I sigh. -W.B. Yeats circa 1916	The more liquor I consume The hotter you look; I’m not gonna lie We aren’t getting any younger I lift the phone to my eyes, I open Tinder to see if you’re nearby. -W.B. Yeats circa 2016

October Fringe Thoughts

Sociologist C. Wright Mills coined the term "fringe thoughts" in his book, The Sociological Imagination. He defines them simply as:

"various ideas which may be byproducts of everyday life, snatches of conversation overheard in the street or, for that matter, dreams. Once noted, these may lead to more systematic thinking, as well as lend intellectual relevance to more directed experience."

He notes: 

"As a social scientist, you have to … capture what you experience and sort it out; only in this way can you hope to use it to guide and test your reflection, and in the process shape yourself as an intellectual craftsman. But how can you do this? One answer is: you must set up a file…"

I have a notebook I take with me everywhere specifically for this purpose, to write down random thoughts that most of us just brush off or forget. I won't bore any of you (or myself for that matter) with typing each one out, but here are a good amount from this last month**

**note that these thoughts are all from my brain unless it's something I took from another person's brain/mouth, in which case I will quote and cite accordingly.

1. If I can't tell what you're supposed to be for Halloween, you probably shouldn't have been that thing, e.g., orange sophie shorts and an orange push-up bra…oh…you're an M&M? Yeah I guess I see that. (actual phrasing from notebook)
2. Afterlife vs. PTSD (not sure where I was going with this but I threw it in to see if anyone wanted to weigh in. Could lead you to cool thoughts)
3. Don't let big business rule your fashion sense (I wrote this one really big so I must really agree. Which I do).
4. The idea of a white teacher making a difference in a low-income school who doesn't want a movie made about her.
5. Bonding with a stranger about how you're both mutual friends of "so-and-so" who you both know is REALLY strange. Because if you both appreciate the weirdness of someone (and like it), then you'll probably like each other, too. (You know Jordan!? Weird kid, huh?)
6. Wes Anderson film about a funeral director.
7. Wes Anderson film about thumbs (again, no idea where this was going but I had to add it in here. I just had to.)
8. Book I want to read: Consolation of Philosophy by Boethius
9. College kids used to change the world, protest, etc.. Now we sit on Facebook and type about changing it.
10. "They have you convinced you're comfortable." (overheard during lecture)
11. I saw a Craigslist ad where a girl is forcing her friend with this plan she has to get "fall boyfriends" (guys to tag along this season and do coupley things with like ice skate, christmas light tours, cuddling by the fireplace, etc). Anyway, this kid in my history class seems like the total type of dude that would respond to this sort of thing. Steal this movie idea: make this history class guy force his buddy to go along with him when responding to the ad, and make the two unwilling friends fall in love. You can thank me later after your film hits top of the box office.
12. Book I want to read: The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander
13. I can't wait to look back on my life at all my mistakes.
14. "You get in an elevator with me…We're talking." (some dude in lecture)
15. Performance art idea (you can take this too because I think it would be the best thing in the world): artist who stays still for a lifetime while a pea tendril wraps/grows around them (HAHAHA think Marina Abramovic's The Artist is Present. Also, I was in Agriculture at the time of this beautiful brain-creation).
16. Female clothing department: juniors vs misses (which means unmarried women) vs women's (which is plus size). What is this supposed to tell us about "girl" versus the term "woman"? Not to mention, male's department gets boys vs mens.
17. To do: visit the Living Bridge
18. Every day, this is all anyone is doing. All over the world, we just wake up and try to not die that day. That's the real goal here. Don't die. Stay out of danger. Avoid death. Avoid the inevitable?
19. Sometimes you're 5 and love the world. Somethings you're 100 and ready for it to be done.
20. Remember to look up.
21. I wonder if he would still have a girlfriend if he wasn't attractive. Because his personality sucks.
22. "Are we human or are we dancer or are we Prancer?"(heard this in line getting coffee but obviously The Killers also deserve credit here)
23. Was I born with common sense or do I just automatically have something that so many others seem to lack? Is this cocky to think? Wait, is using the word "cocky" sexist? (actual phrasing in notebook)
24. I like when people nicely comment on the things they sit on as they sit on them - "Oh, I like this! Kinda comfy!" I don't like it when they comment negatively - "Ugh this seat is so warm." Actually, that one I like because at least they're being observant and it's kind of hilarious when that happens to someone. But I don't like this one: "Ugh, this seat has a crack in it. So annoying." You know what I find annoying!? Complaining about plastic chairs having cracks! (This one was too strange to omit from this post. Don't judge me…)

You're welcome for a peak inside of my brain. Notice I didn't say "a detailed look and analysis of my brain" because that would be terrifying and I would lose many acquaintances.

And if you want to read more on C. Wright Mills's fringe thought concept (but I recommend reading the entire book), here's an excerpt.

http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/about

Hurting You Is In My Nature

You might never know a love greater than that from a dog. He trusts, protects, and is waiting at the door always. Yet you pretend to throw his bone, faking him out. Confuse him, watching him spin himself around, as he grows dizzy. His tilted head and wet eyes staring at you. You know if he could speak he would be asking, “How?” He would be asking, “Why?”

He trusted you, and why shouldn’t he? You’ve always been there for him. Because he’s always been there for you. Yet, there you stand laughing. You throw your head back and play along as if you don’t know where his bone went. But you hold it there behind your back – you grip it with white knuckles and think about nothing in particular.

This is you. This is you finding joy in the hurt. You, the master. You, loving him back but becoming comfortable in the absolute worst meaning of the word. Him, the dog. Him, seemingly weak and simple-minded. You no longer feel the need to be nice. Because he will love you either way. He’s blinded by love and your harsh jabs at him are just seen as another form of love. His only crime was loving you too much.

There’s power in not caring. There’s love in the hurt.

Maybe now you understand why hurricanes are named after people.

1895 - Stephen Crane, In the desert

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter --- bitter,"he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

This Is What It Feels like to Be Nineteen

Nineteen is where I leave you. Me, lying on your bed. You, pausing mid-sentence for a kiss when reading me How to Win Friends & Influence People. Me, pausing Grandma’s Boy. You, asking me where everything went wrong. I am glad to have had you, but nineteen is where I leave you.

Nineteen is where I learn to politely nod my head. I know now more than ever what I’m capable of and what I am capable of is everything. You (and you and you and you and you) told me I couldn’t survive moving alone to a new city, that I shouldn’t spontaneously travel by train to foreign states and stay in hostels. But I ignored you. Thank you for thinking your opinion matters, but nineteen is where I learn to politely nod my head.

Nineteen is where I love myself. I’ll call in sick to work. I’ll pick up the dessert tab. I’ll leave my phone at home and experience life with you. I’ll wake up early to watch the sun rise. I’ll watch movies all night and skip class in the morning. I’ll learn that money is just a piece of paper. I’ll realize that I’m young and I’ll make mistakes and I’ll learn from them. I’ll realize that when I want to do something, I will do it. I’ll drive alone to the Pacific Ocean tomorrow and stay in a hostel for some nights. I’ll breathe salty air and bunk with a roommate who probably won’t speak English. Why? Because nineteen is where I love myself.

Nineteen is where I freak out about twenty. The in-between. Legally an adult, yet still a kid at heart. My last year as a teen. Stuck in a time where everything feels like it could fall apart at any moment. Where falling asleep is much harder due to the gnawing feeling that life will never be what I want. That all of my decisions for the past 19 years have only done harm. Because who can I trust if I can’t trust myself? Because someone out there is dying and someone else is falling in love and I am lying in bed at 2am staring out of a window that a 14 year old climbed out of 5 years ago at 2am to go meet her neighbor for a sleep-over. I might look like I have it all together; I might look like I’m ready for the future. Sometimes I do and sometimes I am. But nineteen is still where I freak out about twenty.